Not Yet
by hopefulwriter27
Summary: Kurt falls into two unhealthy relationships, one with Blaine and the other with Karofsky.


Karofsky teeth nip at his jaw and his hand slides down the back of Kurt's pants. Kurt freezes. "No," he stammers out, twisting to get out of the jock's grip. "Stop it. I'm not ready to go that far."

Karofsky's teeth nip a little too hard and his hand doesn't move. "Come on," he says to Kurt. "You know you want too." His teeth become a smooth skate of chapped lips as they travel from jaw to ear. "Besides," Karofsky's whispers, "It's not like you're going to get it anywhere else."

Kurt hears what he doesn't say. _It's not like anyone else wants you. _Kurt flashes to Blaine, to Sam, to Finn. "Alright." He closes his eyes and lets Karofsky push him back to the bed.

###

"Where did you get that?" Blaine asks.

Kurt turns, surprised at the venom in his friend's voice. He follows Blaine's stare and looks down. _Oh shit, _Kurt thinks. His scarf loop has come undone and there, just where his collar turns into neck, is a dark, round bruise.

He yanks his scarf to hide the hickey. "Nowhere."

Blaine's mouth pulls into a straight line. "Nowhere?" he repeats, voice tight.

"Well, obviously not nowhere," Kurt says, gazes following the cross-paths of the tiled floor. He yanks the first excuse that flutters through his mind. "It's just embarrassing, that's all." He lifts his eyes to meet Blaine's and flashes the boy a self-deprecating smile. "I was playing Halo with Finn, and I kicked his butt. He threw his control in my direction. It hit me." Blaine's eyes darken. "It was a complete accident. He feels really bad."

The barista calls out their coffee orders, and Kurt leaps at the chance for escape. It's not until later, when he's halfway through his soy-almond latte that he remembers he already told Blaine that Finn had spent the weekend in Columbus.

###

Karofsky's mouth is sucking little round 'O's into his chest. He ignores Kurt's nipples completely- no matter how much the smaller boy begs for a swipe of tongue. Kurt's not particularly fond of Karofsky's joy of marking. However, as long as the love bites can be hidden by clothes, Kurt can handle the desire. Which is why it's only when Karofsky's lips brush against his neck does Kurt says, "Hold on," and touches the other boys head. He's learned that 'no' isn't a good word to use around the hockey-turned-football player. His vocabulary has compensated nicely since.

A soft, wet suction sound slurps through the air as Karofsky detaches his lips. He doesn't move from atop Kurt's body, but he does dip his head backwards and glare at Kurt. "What?" he says irritably.

Kurt threads his fingers through Karofsky's curls and places a quick kiss to his lips. "Try not to give me any hickeys above the neckline," Kurt says. His tone is light and playful, as if he really doesn't care otherwise. His heart is pounding inside his chest. It's not all from arousal. "My dad noticed some from the last time you went to town, and I got in trouble."

"I don't care about your dad," Karofsky growls. He traces a finger down the center of Kurt's chest then rubs his knuckle behind Kurt's balls. The action is a little rough, but it still sends a spike of pleasure up Kurt's spine.

"If I get in trouble I won't be able to leave the house anymore," Kurt says, panting. Karofsky pushes at his perineum again, and this time Kurt twists away from the pressure. Karofsky knows he's sensitive after an orgasm. He's just being a dick.

Kurt heaves an internal sigh of relief when Karofsky's frown smooths into resignation. The larger boy shifts his weight until he's lying by Kurt's side. He drags Kurt onto his chest, wrapping both arms around the smaller boy's frame. "I can't wait until we both graduate and can do whatever we want, be together whenever we want."

_Thank god that's more than a year away. _Kurt startles himself with the thought. He can hear Karofsky's heartbeat returning to normal as well as the soft snuffing noises the other boy makes when he's fighting off sleep. He settles into the bigger boy's embrace and pushes the thought away.

###

"I saw you," Blaine says, the second Kurt closes the passenger side door.

"Doing what?" Kurt replies, buckling his seatbelt. The sun is shining, but the scent of rain is in the air- evidence summer is just around the corner.

Blaine starts his car and pulls out of Kurt's driveway. They're heading to the mall for a Saturday of retail damage. "Going into that jock's house. The one who used to bully you." Kurt's heart jumps into his throat. "You didn't come out for hours."

"What?"

"You heard me." Blaine isn't looking at him, but Kurt feels like the other boy is burning holes in his skin with his gaze.

_You didn't come out for hours, _Blaine's words echo in Kurt's mind. A sudden thought snaps into place. "What where you doing following me?" Kurt accuses. He twists to face the other boy. "And hours? We're you waiting outside the whole time?"

Blaine's knuckles flush white around the steering wheel. He takes a deep breath that seems to suck all the air out of the car. Then he yanks the wheel to the right and pulls them into a Wendy's parking lot. He throws the car into park, but doesn't bother to cut the engine. Instead, he jams the seatbelt release and turns on Kurt. "Yes, I followed you. Kurt, I've been worried about you. You haven't been yourself lately and I wanted to know what was going on." He pauses then adds, "Especially since you wouldn't tell me anything."

Guilt wells in Kurt's stomach. "I'm sorry I've been keeping things from you. I really am." Kurt tucks his hands under his arms. "But that doesn't give you the right to stalk me."

Blaine reaches out and pulls Kurt's hands until they're locked between Blaine's own palms. "Kurt," he says, lightly squeezing Kurt's fingers, "it's not healthy for you to see that bully."

Kurt knows Blaine is right, and that makes him angry. He yanks his hands free. "It's not like anyone else is interested in me."

Blaine smiles, one of his perfect grins, and says, "I was wrong before. I want to be your boyfriend." He picks up one of Kurt's hands again and kisses the tips of his fingers. Tingles spiral out through Kurt's body.

"What?" he doesn't sound eloquent, but Kurt feels he's not at fault.

Blaine laughs and closes the space between them. He cups the back of Kurt's head and brings their mouths together for a kiss. It's deep and sweet, and rocks Kurt to the core. Blaine pulls back and Kurt tries to follow with his lips. Blaine laughs again and says, "Don't see that dumb jock anymore."

"Alright," Kurt agrees.

###

"What's up Fancy?" Karofsky says then dips his head forward for a kiss. Kurt steps back and wishes he and Karofsky didn't always have to meet at Karofsky's house. His parents are always gone working or traveling.

Karofsky scowls at the backward motion and says, "What the hell?"

_Do it. Break up with him, _Kurt tells himself. He's not even sure if they're actually dating. "I just…" he starts. Karofsky glowers even more and reaches out for Kurt's wrist. "Sorry," Kurt stammers, abruptly changing gears. "I'm just not feelings great today. I'm not sure I'm up for sex." He tries for blunt.

Karofsky angers fades into annoyance. "Oh, why did you come over then?"

It shouldn't hurt, but it does. Kurt winces at the words and looks away.

A hand touches his shoulder and the grip around his wrist tightens. "Hey, I didn't mean it like that." Karofsky jerks him forward and wraps one arm around Kurt's middle. The other thumbs at the back of Kurt's neck. "Sorry you're not feeling well." He kisses Kurt's forehead, then his lips. "Let's watch a movie or something."

He leads Kurt up to his room. Kurt stands, shifting from foot to foot, as Karofsky sticks in a DVD. Once it's in, Karofsky settles on the bed and pats the space next to him. "Come 'ere." The bed dips beneath Kurt's knees. He settles against Karofsky side and stares at the TV screen.

He doesn't see any of the movie.

###

"Did you do it?" Blaine asks, handing Kurt his coffee.

They hadn't been talking about Karofsky, but Kurt knows that's what Blaine's asking. Kurt takes a sip of his drink then says, "Yep, last night." It's a complete lie, but he manages to be convincing because Blaine's face lights up like a Christmas tree.

Blaine reaches out and takes Kurt's free hand. They walk around the mall like that for hours. Kurt feels lightheaded the whole time.

###

Karofsky pushes him into the mattress. Kurt's fingers spasm around the sheets clutched in his grip. Each thrust has Karofsky brushing against his sweet spot. Kurt's shaking like a leaf. His neck and hips are aching from the position. Karofsky fingers are tight around his hips. There'll be bruises tomorrow.

"You are so fucking beautiful," Karofsky growls with a particular harsh thrust, voice rough like sandpaper. Kurt whines. He's ready to come, but when he reaches down to take care of himself, Karofsky growls again and grabs his hand. "No, not yet."

_Not yet, not yet, _the words cry out in his mind. There are tears in Kurt's eyes when Karofsky's wide hand final wraps around him.

###

Blaine's fingers are brushing along his ear as his lips press against Kurt's. The touch is too light, and has Kurt desperate for more.

"Please," Kurt moans.

Blaine grins into Kurt's skin and says, "Not yet."

###

Kurt feels like he should take up smoking. His nerves are frayed, spilt pieces. He sleeps later and later every day. His school work is becoming too much. He's regretting transferring to Dalton.

"I'm fine dad!" he shouts one morning when his dad tells him he needs to eat breakfast.

Burt blinks at his son, and Kurt feels hot as shame and guilt eat at his flesh.

###

"Are you still friends with that douchebag, preppy kid?" Karofsky asks out of the blue one day. They've gone two rounds, and Kurt's already hurting. He's dreading the hour long drive to school tomorrow.

_I might have to call in sick. _He knows Blaine will be suspicious, but he'll be even more suspicious when Kurt shows up to school hobbling. Aloud, Kurt says, "You know I am." He wants to defend Blaine, tell Karofsky that Blaine isn't a douchebag, but he doesn't.

Karofsky swings his leg over Kurt's body, successfully straddling him. He grabs Kurt's wrists and brings them above Kurt's head. "I want you to stop hanging out with him."

Kurt's mouth falls open. "What? No way. Blaine's my friend." A dark looks settles behind Karofsky's eyes. He tightens his grip around Kurt's wrists. "Stop it," Kurt says. "You're hurting me." Instead of listening, Karofsky lifts up Kurt's arms then slams them down again. Kurt's hands whack against the headboard. "Stop," he cries out again. He twists and pulls his arms. When that doesn't work Kurt twists his legs, trying to buck off the larger boy.

After a few seconds Karofsky lets go. "Sorry," he mutters, though he sounds anything but.

Kurt scrambles off the bed. He snatches his pants off the floor and yanks them on. His underwear is somewhere he can't see. They're not worth the extra time.

"Where are you going?" Karofsky demands. He moves to touch Kurt, but the boy jumps away.

"Don't touch me." Kurt yanks on his shirt and grabs his shoes. "I'm leaving." He picks up his bag from the dresser and heads for the door.

"Wait," Karofsky shouts.

Kurt doesn't. He jogs out the front door and hurries into his car. He doesn't look up until the doors are locked. Karofsky's front door is wide open, but Karofsky is still somewhere inside. Kurt's feet are bare. His chest is heaving.

He doesn't cry until he's in the shower at home.

###

Blaine doesn't ask about his bad mood, which Kurt is grateful. They're halfway through their date- dinner and a movie- when Kurt says, "I'm in trouble." Blaine takes his hands and waits for Kurt to explain. Everything with Karofsky comes spilling out.

Kurt fully expects Blaine to be furious. He isn't. Blaine just nods and rubs soothing circles on the back of Kurt's hand. "You shouldn't see him anymore," Blaine says. He touches Kurt's face, his back, his hair.

Kurt sobs, "I know. I won't, really this time" Kurt feels his conviction, and apparently Blaine does too.

Instead of going to the movie, Blaine drives them back to his parents' mansion and leads Kurt up to his room. They make love listening to Marvin Gaye. It's gently and sweet. Everything Karofsky is not. Blaine runs butterfly kisses along Kurt's jaw when they finish.

"You're so good to me," Kurt whispers into Blaine's ear.

Blaine smiles and rolls over.

###

Karofsky texts him forty-six times over the next week. He calls Kurt thirty four times and leaves twelve voice messages. Kurt never responds. One night, the week before junior year lets out, Kurt is woken up in the middle of the night. He sees Karofsky's truck running across the street. The jock is staring at Kurt's window, and for one brief second their eyes meet. Kurt slams the blinds shut and spends the rest of the night curled on his bed shaking.

As a celebration for completing another year of high school, and being Karofsky-free for a month, Kurt shows up at Blaine's house with tickets to _Rent _in Columbus and box of chocolates for Blaine's sweet-tooth.

Blaine's mother answers the door. "Can I help you?" she asks.

"Hi Mrs. Anderson. I'm Kurt." At her blank stare a pit develops in her stomach.

"Are you one of Blaine's friends?"

Kurt's mouth goes dry. "Yes. I'm one of his friends."

She smiles and says, "Oh, wonderful. You can go upstairs and join his little get-together."

_Get-together? _Kurt takes the steps two at a time. Blaine's bedroom door is shut. Marvin Gaye drifts from inside. Kurt doesn't both to knock. He twists open the handle- _thank Gaga it's not locked -_ then stands there, mouth filling with bile.

"Blaine," Kurt cries.

Blaine tears his mouth from the blonde boy's erection and stares in surprise at Kurt. "Kurt," he says. The blonde boy shakes his head and sits up. He looks from Kurt to Blaine and back again. He grabs the comforter from where it had fallen to the floor.

Kurt's heart has stopped and he feels like he's been hit with a baseball bat. A thousand baseball bats.

Blaine slides from the bed. He doesn't bother to hide his arousal. "Kurt, I'm sorry. I told you I wasn't good at relationships." He holding his palms out, like Kurt's a scared filly. He's wearing his classic sweet-boy grin.

Kurt runs.

###

The knock on the door hurts his knuckles. Kurt doesn't care. The pain feels good.

Karofsky answers. He stares at Kurt for one long second.

"Please," Kurt begs.

Karofsky ducks his head and smiles. He steps back and lets Kurt inside.


End file.
